"C" is for Confidence

Confidence has many meanings according to the dictionary, but this is the one I want to focus on today “full trust, belief in the powers, trustworthiness or reliability of a person or thing.” Why this one? Because I observed something this weekend that saddened me – a group of strong athletic teenage girls put in a situation where I got to observe a complete lack of confidence across the board.

As I sat behind home plate at this derby I heard things like:

- “What if I don’t hit anything”

- “This is so embarrassing”

- “I can’t believe I’m doing this”

- “I’m not going to be able to hit anything”

- “Why am I doing this”

I also remember a group of young boys about his same age years ago in a similar situation and they were all in competitive drive saying things like:

- “Let’s Go”

- “I got this”

- “I wonder how far mine are going?”

- “How many do you think you’ll hit, I bet I hit 10”

Wow! What a difference. Is it just built into that XX Chromosome match-up to be unsure and timid at that age? I wanted to get out on the pitchers mound and lead them in a rousing ‘I AM” session before the derby started or give each one a pep talk about someone who had gone before them and had the same doubts and fears but stepped out of their comfort zone time and time again.

The point is that we as parents have to be on the look out for self-deprecating talk because it does not serve our kids at all. I am not the parent of the year believe me – I make my share of mistakes but one thing that I have learned is that I have a responsibility to push my little growing princess out of her comfort zone. Why do it so young? Because it is like a muscle it needs to be worked in order to get stronger. The more young girls can step out of the comfort zone and into a good experience early the stronger they will be moving into adult life.

There are definitely tangible ways to grow confidence…

1. Affirmations – forward thinking positive statements that declare where we want to go or who we want to be

2. Visualization exercises – picturing ourselves as the person we desire to be. For a young girl it may be having a group of friends that like her, a boy that she wants to pay attention to her or a team she wants to make

Emotional Release, Business Coaching, Emotion Code, Body Code, Energy Healing

3. Step into whatever is scary or uncomfortable (when it is not life threatening fear) – action is the thief of fear because most fear is truly imaginary and can be overcome by moving into action.

a. One of those girls that had that doubting spirit went on to win that home run derby even though she wasn’t confident and went up their doubting – so it proves that good can come out of an unsure situation if you just go into action

4. Be unattached to the outcome – this is much easier to preach than to do and so much easier coming at it from my 50 year old perspective but I wish I had mastered this in my teens or twenties. All we can do as individuals with plans, goals and dreams is to try the things that are in front of us, ask questions as necessary and see where it takes us. Do you think the waitress worries if you are going to say yes or no to the question of “Would you like a cup of coffee today?” The same goes for anything we are stepping out and asking/doing. Sometimes it is going to go well, sometimes it isn’t. Sometimes they will say yes, and other times no. But either way we have an answer and feedback to move forward with.

There is another dynamic sometimes at play with confidence. That is the world of inherited Trapped Emotions? Sounds strange I know but here is the reality – sometimes emotional energy is created and trapped that can be negative and it can be passed down through generations. So someone with low confidence that they really want to shake but can’t no matter how hard they try may have inherited a Trapped Emotion of “I’m Not Worthy” or “Rejection” or “Worthless” the list goes on. But the good news is that even inherited Trapped Emotions can be identified and cleared thus releasing that person from any hold that negative baggage had in their heart and mind leaving them a path to success in whatever their goal or dream is.

To learn more about how the Emotion Code/Body Code work can help with lack of confidence connect with me at www.julie-drake.com